Oh Swine Flu PLEASE go away.....

I feel like I'm in a bad dream....one I desperately want to wake out of....

How can it be that we were RIGHT there...so close..NEXT to be matched....
And then, as life would have it, the Swine Flu is introduced...and has now thrown China into a hysterical panic...one in which they are manhunting down anyone that has had flu symptoms and quarantining them until it's gone.....one that the gov't is not even letting parents in or out of schools to pick up their children....one that is taking temp's of every human on that land and having it reported to their gov't....one that is denying visa's to travel to most places in China.

So as you can conclude...we probably wont be going to get Sophie anytime soon(or as soon as we had thought)....not even a match.....Is it possible to get through this...of course it is...are we giving up...of course we are NOT...but does it suck and make my heart ache daily and my stomach a ball of nerves....YES..a thousand times YES.

Someone said to me on Monday.."I don't know how you can go through this and wait anymore..if I were you I would have pulled out of the adoption program long ago"
Is this someone a good friend, NO.....but still.....it just goes to show they have no clue how we feel a/b Sophie, and it made me so mad.

Sophie may not be "real" to any of you..but she is to us. We feel God planted her soul into our hearts 3+yrs ago and since then she has been growing....growing into a love like the love we have for our first....it's no different....

I said nothing to this person..just shrugged...but what I wanted to say..what I should have said was this...

Imagine carrying a child..being pregnant....(maybe as long as an elephant-LOL)and then that child has to be taken out of you for whatever reason...and taken away for awhile...you can't hold this child..you can't see this child..you cant smell this child....but you are told all you have to do is wait...how long you say? No one knows for sure...but if you wait, you will get to her....

And I should have said to this person, "would you wait" -OF course you would wait..it's your child...your baby...the baby the Lord made just for you....
And that's what Sophie Ruth is to us..our child....our child the Lord made just for us....and we will wait...through my tears and aching stomach I will wait and be strong and keep my faith......
Sophia Ruth I will NEVER give up on you....Love mommy xoxoxo